parenting with cancer
Welcome, Mere Mortal of Cancer. Welcome to where we’ve all been.
I was very careful about the words I chose to explain to my children what was happening to us.
Somehow, our society has accepted as conventional wisdom that children have superior powers to work through emotional trauma on their own.
I went straight from my thirties to the hospital, where the other patients were all twice my age. For me, 40 was the new 80.
We parents want to shield our children from the worst of our cancer, but in the process, we can rob them of their emotional rights to process and grieve in their own way.
I just wanted my cancer to be as un-bad as possible.
I did not tell my daughter because she was too young to understand. She just thought I had a funny/bad haircut.
I said yes, not realizing it would mean I’d end up in pink snakeskin pants and 5-inch Nicole Miller heels, rocking out to Nirvana and sipping Champagne in Manhattan photography studio.
I’m a worrier, an awfulizer, and I had a hard time keeping it in the moment.